Understanding Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser makes the victim question their reality, memory, or perceptions. It’s a tactic that can be subtle, leading to confusion and self-doubt in the victim. Gaslighting is often used in abusive relationships to gain control and can have significant mental health impacts.

Signs of Gaslighting

Recognising gaslighting is crucial for addressing it. Common signs include:

• Lying and Exaggerating: The abuser persistently lies and exaggerates, making you doubt your memory or beliefs.
• Denying Wrongdoing: Even when presented with evidence, the abuser denies their actions or words.
• Using What You Love Against You: Targeting aspects of your identity or what you value to undermine your self-esteem.
• Trivialising Your Feelings: The abuser minimizes your feelings, suggesting you're too sensitive or overreacting.
• Shifting Blame: Making you feel responsible for their actions or the issues in the relationship.

Being aware of these tactics can help in identifying and combating gaslighting.

Dealing with Gaslighting

Addressing gaslighting involves recognizing it and taking steps to protect your mental health:

• Trust Your Feelings: Trust your instincts and feelings. If something feels wrong, it likely is.
• Seek Support: Confide in trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional for perspective.
• Document Reality: Keep a journal or record of events to help maintain your perspective on reality.
• Set Boundaries: Be clear about your boundaries and communicate them to the abuser, if safe to do so.
• Disengage from the Abuser: If possible, minimize or end contact with the person gaslighting you.

Empowering yourself is key in dealing with and recovering from gaslighting.