Signs a Friend Might Be Experiencing Abuse

• Withdrawal from Social Activities : A noticeable decrease in social interaction or avoiding social gatherings they once enjoyed.
• Unexplained Injuries : Frequent bruises or injuries with vague or inconsistent explanations.
• Changes in Behaviour or Mood : Significant changes in behavior, such as increased anxiety, depression, or sudden mood swings.
• Decreased Self-Esteem : Expressions of worthlessness or self-blame, which are uncharacteristic.
• Overly Concerned with Partner’s Needs : Excessively worrying about pleasing their partner or going out of their way to meet their demands.
• Isolation : A gradual withdrawal from friends and family, often influenced by the partner.
• Secrecy or Avoidance : Being evasive about their relationship or avoiding conversations about their partner.

Signs a Friend Might Be an Abuser

• Controlling Behaviour : Talking about controlling what their partner can do, where they can go, or who they can meet.
• Frequent Jealousy or Paranoia : Expressing irrational jealousy or possessiveness over their partner.
• Verbal Aggression : Using harsh or demeaning language when speaking about or to their partner.
• Public Humiliation : Embarrassing or belittling their partner in front of others.
• Blaming the Partner : Consistently blaming their partner for problems in the relationship or their own negative behaviours.
• Overly Critical Attitude : Regularly criticizing their partner’s actions, appearance, or choices.
• Aggressive or Threatening Behaviour: Exhibiting aggressive behavior, either verbally or physically, that can be perceived as threatening.

Things They Might Say or Do: Signs to Look Out For

When trying to identify if a friend is experiencing abuse, certain phrases or behaviors can serve as red flags. These might seem like clichés, but they are often used to cover up or downplay the seriousness of the situation. Here are some common ones to be aware of :

Common Excuses and Phrases

• "I walked into a door" or "I'm just clumsy": Often used to explain bruises or injuries.
• "It was just a joke": Minimising hurtful or abusive comments as humour.
• "I can't, my partner doesn't like it" Frequently deferring to their partner's preferences or rules, especially when it comes to social activities or attire.
• "They're just stressed": Justifying their partner’s abusive behaviour as a result of stress or other external factors.
• "It's not that bad" or "You don't understand our relationship": Downplaying the abuse or suggesting that it's a normal part of their relationship.

Behavioural Signs to Look Out For

• Overly Apologetic : Frequently saying sorry for things that don’t warrant an apology, indicating a heightened fear of offending or making their partner angry.
• Constantly Checking In with Their Partner: Feeling the need to always report their whereabouts or activities.
• Limited Access to Money or Personal Items: Indications that they are not in control of their finances or personal choices.
• Limited Access to Money or Personal Items: Indications that they are not in control of their finances or personal choices.
• Changes in Appearance or Personality : Notable changes in how they present themselves or a shift away from their usual personality, which could be due to stress or control from their partner.
• Reluctance to Share Details about Their Relationship : Being vague or evasive when discussing their partner or their life at home.